Officially today is day one of training for a marathon! To a normal person this sounds like a challenge and to me yeah it’s gonna be a challenge, but it’s something I’ve got to do. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for years and never could. I was too afraid and in too much pain. More than half of my life I’ve spent fighting my own body. Since I was 12 years old I was diagnosed with Ulcertive Colitis. It’s bowel disorder that causes internal bleeding of my bowels, and general all around unpleasantness. Look it up for a scientific description, but my description is “it kinda sucks.” But I’ve dealt with it for 13 years, and it’s continued to be a literal pain in my side, but what pain does is give way for strength. You can’t overcome without suffering. Only in a challenge can real strength be found. I find that new things come to those who overcome! So I’m planning to show that I have the strength and run a marathon.
I’ve been a distance runner for a long time. I did cross country back in high school, but I have only off/on been running over the past 6 years since. Life has been busy, but good. For those who don’t know I’m a fitness instructor, and that does work well to keep me in great shape. When it comes to running a marathon and having 3 months to train I’m game! Though after running 10 miles this morning and my legs are crammed and painful I’m reconsidering (not really, it’s part of the fun). It’s gonna take some work getting me to 26.2 miles, but I’m not giving up because it will be hard. I’ve shied away from things like this before cause of my UC, and the pain it causes me, but I’ve been mostly symptom free for a full year, and I want to prove not just to myself that I can do this, but to inspire others who might be suffering as well not just from UC, but maybe just to get up off the couch.
I am physically fit, but it didn’t happen over night (I admit some beneficial genetic blessings too, but still). I teach cardio classes on average 6 times a week. I’m pretty much all lean muscles mass. So most people look at me, and think I’m such a picture of perfect heal (or they think I don’t eat enough), but they’d be wrong (on both accounts). I do try really hard to eat healthy and live healthy, but my UC still causes me trouble. Every day is a battle. Every day just getting out of bed can be a fight when my bowels feel like they’ve been twisted into a triple knot. Over this past year after my last bad flare of UC I decided I had to do something about it. Like really do something.
I’ve developed cleaner eating habits. I’ve taken to make sure I’m clean and washed. And I’ve put more effort into being disciplined. Disciplined in my faith, discipline into my routines, discipline in the tidiness of my apartment. When I can keep a certain order in my chaotic life is goes a long way to keeping me destressed and healthy. I’ve really been inspired by William Wilberforce who lived like me with Colitis (if not Ulcerative Colitis exactly a form of it). Here we have a man who gave the majority of his life for changing the world. He suffered the same pain like I do so why can’t I do the same. He worked so hard to be a good and Godly man. He is my hero. He is a rolemodel to me, and I want just to be a fraction of the man he was, not just his disorder, but his discipline to the cause. I want to be a rolemodel like him, and inspire others to become disciplined, and not be afraid to act.
I’ve been afraid so long. I’ve been afraid to lose. I’ve been afraid to die. With UC one bad week can mean I’m bed ridden for months of suffering. Too much stress. Too much stimulation even can cause it. And there are times in that suffering I have just wanted to die. I spent time asking God why he did this to me. Why must I suffer this affliction, and if he has a plan for me to do something big why do I suffer so much pain? He’s only ever answered my questions with challenges, but he’s made me stronger, and proven that someone who suffers as I can still make a different in the world. Teaching fitness classes is more or less a miraculous act for somebody like me. So running a marathon will be the first of things to come I hope. I want to change the world, not just in fitness, but to be unafraid. To speak up.
I’m not loud. I was shy and quiet. Now I’ve learned to make noise. Now I want to learn to make noises people will hear. If I can change one life by doing this that is enough. I have like Wilberforce given my service to my Lord. I want to give back all I can for what he has done for me. That is why I’m not just running a marathon, but I’m making a deal out of it. I will use what I’ve been given, my talents and my suffering together to inspire others. I can also prove to myself that I can do this. I am not limited by a condition, but I am empowered by it! I am made stronger every day by something that would try to have me killed. I hope everyone gets the message I’m trying to speak. I hope everybody can start to understand, and be inspired no matter what the challenges you face. I find faith that nothing is beyond my God, and I find faith that he has equipped me to handle it. So I go forth unafraid. In pain? Yes (cause pain is part of the game), but to conquer the fear and the pain that is a victory!
If you’ve miss the video. Catch it above! I’ll be doing more videos and blogs as my training continues. Thank you all for watching and reading! Now go do something awesome! Be awesome!